Our Stories
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TEEN DATING
My relationship with John started off great. He was funny, charming, and sweet. We had only been dating for a couple months when he told me he loved me. I was not ready for that yet but I thought I would lose him if I didn’t say it back. Our realtionship seemed normal back then...but then things began to change. He started questioning my clothing and even told me one time that I looked like a slut. He would get mad if any guy even looked in my direction but I thought his jealousy meant that he loved me. Soon enough I realized it was his way of keeping control over me. He would often make the plans for our dates without even asking me. He didn’t care if I wanted to do the things he chose or not. Then one night he offered me drugs. I tried to tell him NO, but he forced me to try it. Then he wanted to have sex with me. Because…
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TEEN STORY
At the age of 15 years old, I was one angry girl. You’d be angry too, carrying around a rock in the pit of your stomach. One constant thought, “Why is this happening to my family?!?!” Why was I so angry, at my stepfather who has been a part of my life since I was four? At first he seemed pretty nice, and but after a while he got mean. When he would come home in a bad mood I would get really scared. When he was mad he would usually start yelling, then screaming, and then hitting would start(usually Mom). Everyday my entire family had to be ready to adjust to his mood.
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My life was good. I had a job and friends, I was close with my family, my boss had just given me a promotion. Everything was going along as planned.
One night I went out with some friends to the bar.
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My journey was not quick or easy. I went down many paths before finding the right one. My relationship was just like any other in the beginning, loving, caring, wanting to spend all our time together. But things started to change.
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By teaching our children and keeping in mind the key aspects of a healthy relationship we can build a strong foundation starting At Home.
RESPECT: An important element to a healthy relationship is mutual respect. By taking the time to discover other people's interests and contributions you become invested in the relationship. This means listening to what they are trying to communicate with you about and trying to see their point of view. In valueing their opinions you are valuing their worth. In relationships that lacks respect; power becomes out of balance and usually ends with one person becoming more domineering. It is the submissive partner that usually has to conform to the other person's values, ideas, and rules.
HONESTY: All healthy relationships need honesty. By sharing your feelings even during a discussion where your opinion differs, you are expressing your beliefs. In not doing so, the other person has a sense of how you are feeling that is completely different then what is actually true. With honesty being a key component you can share a sense of who you truly are and what you desire. Lies and deceit contribute to an unhealthy relationship.
TRUST: It doesn't take much to destroy a relationship. If there is a lack of trust it makes a person unsure in the security of knowing who the other person truly is. By keeping an open path of communication and honesty you ensure that you are equal in your commitment to a healthy relationship.
COMMUNICATION: When in a healthy relationship, you gain an understanding of the other person by means of communication. By addressing your beliefs and conveying them in a manner that is clear and concise you are able to express your expectations and feelings. A person must actively listen to what the other person is trying to share as well. It is through respect, trust, and honesty that a person can connect with another.
Having a healthy relationship requires both parties being willing to change and grow in their expectations. Through the 4 key components you can ensure your commitment to having healthy relationships.
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