Our Stories
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TEEN DATING
My relationship with John started off great. He was funny, charming, and sweet. We had only been dating for a couple months when he told me he loved me. I was not ready for that yet but I thought I would lose him if I didn’t say it back. Our realtionship seemed normal back then...but then things began to change. He started questioning my clothing and even told me one time that I looked like a slut. He would get mad if any guy even looked in my direction but I thought his jealousy meant that he loved me. Soon enough I realized it was his way of keeping control over me. He would often make the plans for our dates without even asking me. He didn’t care if I wanted to do the things he chose or not. Then one night he offered me drugs. I tried to tell him NO, but he forced me to try it. Then he wanted to have sex with me. Because…
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TEEN STORY
At the age of 15 years old, I was one angry girl. You’d be angry too, carrying around a rock in the pit of your stomach. One constant thought, “Why is this happening to my family?!?!” Why was I so angry, at my stepfather who has been a part of my life since I was four? At first he seemed pretty nice, and but after a while he got mean. When he would come home in a bad mood I would get really scared. When he was mad he would usually start yelling, then screaming, and then hitting would start(usually Mom). Everyday my entire family had to be ready to adjust to his mood.
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My life was good. I had a job and friends, I was close with my family, my boss had just given me a promotion. Everything was going along as planned.
One night I went out with some friends to the bar.
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My journey was not quick or easy. I went down many paths before finding the right one. My relationship was just like any other in the beginning, loving, caring, wanting to spend all our time together. But things started to change.
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Here are some things that you can do to support survivors: BELIEVE THEM. If someone tells you about an experience of domestic violence, rape or sexual abuse, believe them and let them know that you believe them. There is little evidence to show that people create these stories. Many survivors do not tell anyone because of the fear they may not be believed or it would make things worse. BE AWARE OF ABUSER TACTICS. In domestic violence, many abusers isolate their partners by keeping them away from family and support networks, trying to undermine friendships and creating dependence. In sexual assault, realize that offenders work hard to lower their victim's defenses and create reasons to blame them for what happened. In both cases, remind them that they are not alone. Support their efforts to reach out to others.
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