Our Stories
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TEEN DATING
My relationship with John started off great. He was funny, charming, and sweet. We had only been dating for a couple months when he told me he loved me. I was not ready for that yet but I thought I would lose him if I didn’t say it back. Our realtionship seemed normal back then...but then things began to change. He started questioning my clothing and even told me one time that I looked like a slut. He would get mad if any guy even looked in my direction but I thought his jealousy meant that he loved me. Soon enough I realized it was his way of keeping control over me. He would often make the plans for our dates without even asking me. He didn’t care if I wanted to do the things he chose or not. Then one night he offered me drugs. I tried to tell him NO, but he forced me to try it. Then he wanted to have sex with me. Because…
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TEEN STORY
At the age of 15 years old, I was one angry girl. You’d be angry too, carrying around a rock in the pit of your stomach. One constant thought, “Why is this happening to my family?!?!” Why was I so angry, at my stepfather who has been a part of my life since I was four? At first he seemed pretty nice, and but after a while he got mean. When he would come home in a bad mood I would get really scared. When he was mad he would usually start yelling, then screaming, and then hitting would start(usually Mom). Everyday my entire family had to be ready to adjust to his mood.
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My life was good. I had a job and friends, I was close with my family, my boss had just given me a promotion. Everything was going along as planned.
One night I went out with some friends to the bar.
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My journey was not quick or easy. I went down many paths before finding the right one. My relationship was just like any other in the beginning, loving, caring, wanting to spend all our time together. But things started to change.
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How can you tell if you are in an abusive relationship?
- Are you afraid of the person you're going out with?
- Do they call you names; make you feel stupid, or tell you that you can't do anything right?
- Do they say that no one else would ever go out with you?
- Does the person you're involved with tell you where you can and can't go or who you can and can't talk to?
- Do you feel cut off from your friends and family?
- Do you feel if you say no to sexual activities that you will get in trouble? Do you feel pushed or forced into being sexual?
- Does the person say it's your fault when they hurt you?
- Does this person shove, grab, hit, pinch, hold you down or kick you?
- Is the person you're seeing really nice sometimes and really mean at other time (almost like they have two personalities)?
- Does this person make frequent promises to change? Do they pretend that they never hurt you? Or do they tell you that you are "making too big a deal" out of it?
If the answer to any of these questions is "yes," your partner is being abusive towards you. You may want to look at your relationship more closely and find out more about teen dating violence.
Resources for more information regarding dating violence:
www.loveisnotabuse.com
www.loveisrespect.org
www.jwi.org
... Or call your local Crisis Center -
SASA
220 S. Burlington, Suite 4
Hastings, NE 68901
402-463-5810 or 1-877-322-7272
Calls are answered 24-hours a day!
All calls are kept confidential.
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